


Adventures of Tony Stark, Father of One: Infancy

by Illusinia



Series: Darcy Stark Series [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper leaves an infant Darcy Stark alone with her father, and learns the hard way that this is a very bad idea. Dirty diapers, robot furniture, and the beginning of the corruption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures of Tony Stark, Father of One: Infancy

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, this is part of the 'Darcy Stark' segment, a spin off from 'More Than She Seems'. Because I am doing each segment as a separate post, much as I did with 'More Than She Seems', there might not be a true timeline attached with these stories yet. I'm going to attempt to avoid that, but its possible that the time line might jump, so please watch these comments and note the summary because that will denote the order.
> 
> Also, I need to apologize now for a brief bit of confusion on the last post: I listed Rodey as Rodney last time which is an error made on my end. I apologize for that. 
> 
> Alright, that's it for notes and hopefully you all enjoy this!

Its three days before Dr. Tarsen could release Darcy into Tony's custody. Her grandparents had already signed away their rights over the child and taken their daughter's body from the hospital, so they were out of the picture. Thus, when the third day rolled around, Tony signed the custody and care forms and walked out the door with Darcy tucked into his arms. He hasn't put her down unless he's had to for the past three days. Or when Pepper has demanded to hold the infant.

 

Most of the car ride to the airport was spent with Tony cooing at his daughter, even when she gave him a sleepy smile and nodded off. Pepper let him, glancing over the furniture list that she had been working off. Rodey had gone back after the first day and been corresponding with Pepper and Happy to get the basic furniture and necessities put together. All of it had been delivered to the house by now, but none of it was constructed; Tony got to do that part.

 

It wasn't until the three of them were on the company plane and in the air that Tony spoke. “So, I took the liberty of having the hospital give her your last name.”

 

Pepper coughed a little, eyes going wide as her head shot up to focus on Tony before diving for the file of paperwork that the hospital had given them. She sputtered a few times as she took in the scrawl that declared the child's name Darcy Tonya Potts. “But, what-how-Tony _why?_ ”

 

Tony shrugged, lifting Darcy into his arms when she started to fuss. “I don't want her to get targeted by the press, at least not until she's ready. And I have enemies, we both know that. Besides, I already put in the paperwork to give you joint-custody.”

 

More sputtering came from Pepper's direction but Tony ignored it in favor of cooing at Darcy. Her little arm flailed in joy as she reached up to touch Tony's nose. “What do ya think Darce? Do you want Pepper to be your mommy?”

 

Darcy giggled happily and turned her head to look at Pepper. The motion was a surprise given most newborns couldn't make the connection between a name and a person, but Tony shrugged it off. She was a Stark after all. “I think that's a yes. What do you think Pep?”

 

Pepper was still in shock, though she did manage to nod a little. It took a few tries, but eventually she got her voice back. “Tony, why- why me?”

 

“Really Pep?” asked Tony with raised eyebrows. “You've kept me in line and my life together for the last _year_. That's more than anyone else has ever wanted or managed to do. Besides, do you really trust me alone with a kid?”

 

“Good point,” admitted Pepper with a sigh. “Alright Tony, I get it. Now, hand me my daughter.”

 

00000000000000

 

Tony's home in Malibu was a metal and glass sculpture concealed by a dip and a high fence. It offered as much privacy as possible, with all windows facing towards the ocean and a wall of primarily cement facing the road. It was about as protected as possible.

 

“Welcome home baby girl,” whispered Tony to the sleepy infant in his arms as they walked into the building. “Hey Pep, does she have a room?”  


“Next to yours,” replied Pepper as she moved to check for messages.

 

Tony grunted and carried Darcy upstairs, talking to her as he went. Pepper calmly went about making sure no emergencies had occurred in their absence. Not that she was really that worried, it was rare for anyone to actually contact Tony if something came up. Besides, she would have heard about it if anything truly urgent had emerged.

 

“Hey Pep, what is this?” called Tony.

 

Pepper was immediately on her feet and heading for the stairs. When Tony started asking questions like that, one of two things were likely to happen: something would be broken or, more likely, something was going to explode. The latter was the most common and somehow the most likely even when things shouldn't be  _able_ to explode. 

 

Upstairs, the door to Darcy's new room was wide open, allowing Pepper to find both father and daughter with ease. Inside, Tony stood staring at the box containing the crib which currently lay in the middle of the room. Another box containing the changing table sat beside it. A few other bags with stuff like a diaper bag and baby carrier were placed beside the boxes. Pepper had been strict in her instructions to leave everything else to Tony. Well, and apparently her if Darcy was really going to be her daughter. 

 

Daughter. She had a daughter now, even if she hadn't given birth to the girl. That was a new thought, and one that was going to take some getting used to.

 

“Yes Tony?” asked Pepper, keeping her patience in check.

 

Tony blinked up at her and motioned to the boxes with his head, keeping Darcy cradled against him. “What's with the boxes Pep?”

 

“That would be baby furniture,” replied Pepper, relieved that nothing was going to be exploding any time soon. Although, this was Tony so it was impossible to say if that assessment was true or not. Seriously, the man could make anything explode.

 

For a moment, Tony just squinted at the boxes before looking at Pepper again. “Why is the furniture in boxes? Doesn't it need to be put together?”

 

Pepper nodded. “Yes, it does. That would be your job. In fact,” glancing around, Pepper confirmed her suspicions immediately, grabbing the baby carrier from among the bags, “why don't I take Darcy and go pick up some basic necessities while you put the furniture together.”

 

“Uh...” Tony looked a little uncertain as he eyed the boxes but Pepper didn't give him a chance to respond.

 

Instead, she swept Darcy out of Tony's arms and turned back towards the room's door. “It won't be that hard Tony. I've seen you build more complicated things from scratch in your workshop. Besides, the boxes include instructions so you should be done in no time.”

 

“Right,” muttered Tony who was already examining the box containing the crib now that his hands were empty.

 

“We shouldn't be more than an hour,” added Pepper as she and Darcy left the room, heading for the front door.

 

00000000000000

 

What Pepper had originally assumed would be an hour trip turned into two when she realized that they didn't have any formula either. And that Darcy would probably need a blanket, sheets, and several other things that she hadn't considered when Rodey had been doing the shopping. Still, she was back at Tony's two hours later with a sleeping Darcy in one hand and one of the many bags from the car in her other. Happy came in behind her, humming happily as he deposited the bags at the base of the stairs par Pepper's request.

 

Pepper didn't pay much attention to Happy however, being too concerned with the silence that seemed to consume the house. “Tony?”

 

No response.

 

“Tony?” repeated Pepper uneasily as she crept up the stairs Darcy still in one hand. “Are you up here?”

 

A crash and cheer of success came from the baby room, drawing Pepper towards the open door. When she peered inside, however, Pepper nearly dropped the baby carrier. “Oh god.”

 

Tony turned and grinned at Pepper, pride written across his face. “What do you think Pep?”

 

“Tony, what did you _do_?” asked Pepper in shock. Both furniture boxes were tossed aside, empty, but their contents were no where to be found. Instead, two strangely shaped robots stood in the middle of the room. 

 

One was possibly shaped like a crib except that it beeped intermittently as it switched between rock songs, there were no bars, and the side kept sliding up and down at random. The 'bed' was also curved, rather than flat, and looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie.

 

The other was what Pepper guessed was supposed to be the changing table except that there were robotic arms hanging off the sides, making it look more like someone flatted a spider between two pieces of wood. Most of the table had also been stripped and Pepper thought some of the bars from the crib might have ended up on the table.

 

When her eyes came back to Tony, he was frowning. “You don't like it?”

 

“Tony, Darcy _can't_ sleep in...that,” Pepper gestured at the potential crib, “and she certainly can't be changed on _that_.” Again, a gesture was made towards the corresponding robot. “You'll give her nightmares!”

 

Tony 'huh'ed, then shook his head. “You have that backwards Pep. The one with the arms is the crib and the one with the speakers is the changing table/play table. I did a little research while you were gone and found that-”

 

“Tony,” cut off Pepper. “Darcy can't sleep in either of those things!”

 

“Why not?” asked Tony, clearly confused.

 

Pepper took a deep, calming breath and set Darcy down, carefully lifting her out of the carrier. “Because she'll have nightmares.” Sighing, Pepper thrust the little girl into Tony's arms and grabbed her purse again. “Look, watch Darcy. I'm going to go replace all this stuff. And put those things somewhere else.”

 

With that, Pepper walked out leaving a stunned Tony behind.

 

00000000000000000

 

Pepper was barely gone an hour before her phone was going off. Sighing, she fished the device out of her purse and balanced the phone while pursing the crib selection. “Yes Tony?”

 

“Uh, Pep, Darcy's crying,” started Tony uncertainly.

 

Of the phone, the infant's wails could be heard loud and clear. “I can hear that Tony. Is she hungry?”

 

“Uh, I think her diaper's dirty,” admitted Tony uncertainly.

 

Pepper sighed heavily. “Then change it.”

 

“How?” asked Tony, panic starting to leak into his voice. “I haven't done this before Pep!”

 

“You did it at the hospital,” reminded Pepper with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Yeah,” confirmed Tony, “but I was _supervised_ when I did that. I haven't done this alone before!”

 

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Tony, just take the old diaper off, clean her up, and put a new one on. Its not rocket science. The sides have adhesive, so you don't have to use safety pins and the wipes are in a bag with the diapers I just bought.”

 

“But-but,” started Tony. However, Pepper hung up before he could finish. The man was a genius, he'd figure it out.

 

00000000000000

 

At the house, Tony started at the phone as it gave him a dial tone while Darcy cried in his arms. “Shit.”

 

Sighing, he dropped the phone and refocused on Darcy. “Alright kid, let's try this.”

 

Rummaging through the bags, Tony found the diapers and wipes that Pepper had mentioned along with an indented pad that had the words 'Diaper Changing Pad' written on it. An image of a baby laying in the pad while it was being changed was printed on the back. “Okay, I guess I need this?”

 

Taking all three items downstairs, Tony set the pad on the table in the kitchen and set the wipes and diapers beside it. He remembered at the hospital that the nurses kept a trash can next to the changing area, so he grabbed the trash can as well. Unwrapping the pad, he lay the still-crying Darcy in the middle, muttering soothing sounds to her in a vain attempt to calm her down.

 

“Alright Darce, lets try this,” muttered Tony as he carefully unsnapped her diaper and peeled the front away. Instantly, he jumped backwards and coughed heavily. “Whew, that reeks Darce! What the hell has Pep been feeding you?”  


Darcy sniffed but giggled a little.

 

“Yeah, really funny kid,” muttered Tony as he edged back towards where Darcy was kicking her feet. “Jesus...”

 

Carefully, Tony slid the diaper out from under Darcy, almost gagging on the smell. “Oh god, I am  _never_ doing this again. There has to be another way. Maybe I can invent something...”

 

Darcy giggled again and kicked her feet gently. Her eyes were locked on Tony's face, giving him an adorable grin.

 

Tony just sighed. “Alright, maybe not. You're too cute for your own good, you know that kid?” She cooed and reached one hand towards Tony, which he took gently. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.”

 

Grabbing the wipes, Tony quickly cleaned Darcy up, which was the easy part. Then came time to figure out the diaper. “Alright Darce, which way does this thing go?” Darcy giggled, kicked, and cooed in response. “Well, you're no help.” Sighing, he tucked the diaper under her and tried to close it. “That doesn't look right.” For one thing, the diaper wouldn't close. For another, one of the adhesive strips was stuck to Darcy's leg. “Okay, that's not right. Lets try this again.” Removing the diaper, Tony tossed it and tried again. This time it was too big on the front. Again, he grabbed yet another diaper. “These things need to come with directions.”

 

It took three more tries before Tony finally got the diaper on right (or at least close enough that Pepper probably wouldn't notice if it wasn't). Quickly, he washed his hands and then went to scoop up Darcy. “So Darce, what should we do now?” Darcy cooed slightly, looking up at his with wide eyes. “Alright, well, how about I show you my workshop? Wanna see where Daddy does all his work?”

 

Without waiting fro an answer, he headed down the stairs and into the space for his workshop.

 

00000000000000

 

When Pepper arrived home a few hours later, new crib and changing table in hand, she found the house eerily quiet. “Tony?”

 

No response. Worried, she headed upstairs to Darcy's room and found it empty. Frown firmly in place, Pepper began a room-by-room search of the house before finally descending to Tony's workshop. In retrospect its the first place she should have checked.

 

Tony was standing in front of the open hood of one of his cars, pointing out the various parts and how they ran. Darcy was sleeping soundly in Tony's arms. The image was adorable to the point where Pepper momentarily considered if someone could have replaced Tony with a clone. Then he made an off-color joke that had Pepper wondering if Darcy was going to know more inappropriate words before the age of three than any child should.

 

“Tony?” asked Pepper, drawing the genius' attention to her.

 

“Pep,” greeted Tony with a grin as Darcy blinked and turned her head to look at Pepper. “I changed her diaper!”

 

“Congratulations,” replied Pepper slowly, wondering how badly that misadventure likely went. “Do we have any diapers left?”

 

Tony snorted. “Please, it wasn't that bad.”

 

“Uhuh,” hummed Pepper as she made a mental note to check the diaper supply later. “What have you two been doing besides that?”

 

“I've been showing her the workshop and introducing her to the finer points of engineering,” replied Tony with a grin.

 

Pepper reached for Darcy with a head shake. “You're going to corrupt her.”

 

“Hey, she's a Stark!” exclaimed Tony. “Engineering is in our blood.”

 

“Tony, I doubt she _understands_ anything you've been saying,” pointed out Pepper, lifting Darcy from Tony's hands. “Besides, it looks like she's been sleeping though you're lecture.”

 

“Hardly,” scoffed Tony. “She's been a perfectly attendant audience. Right Darce?”

 

Darcy cooed then turned her head to focus on something else.

 

Pepper smirked slightly. “See?”

 

Tony opened his mouth to rebuke Pepper, but stopped short when Darcy reached out suddenly and made a grab for a screw driver that was sitting on the table next to her. Her hand-eye coordination wasn't good enough to grab it of course, but the effort made Tony grin like the maniac he was. “So Pep, what was that about Darcy not understanding what I was saying?”  


With a sigh and head-shake, the red-head assistant turned towards the workshop exit. “I stand by my previous statement Tony: you're going to corrupt her before she can walk!”

 

The next day, a mobile of small wrenches and screw-drivers appeared over Darcy's crib. By that night, it had been replaced with a plastic version.


End file.
